Urgh. I just want to know if you hate me. I want you to say hi to me. I want things to be resolved. I want you to know I still think about you every day. I think about old times.. our first date. Watching the heist, holding hands while that guy behind us had that fricken hilarious laugh. Haha. … I miss my best friend. I miss our talks. God damn I hate all those retarded things I said to you. I hate how I treated you. I hate how I now know what to do and say and act, but it would all be for nothing because you can’t even look at me. Damn tonights a bad night.

Do you think about me? Do you ever want things to be back how they were? Do you want to say hi to me in the hallways instead of awkward eye contact? I do. So bad. I miss us. :(

keep-calmanddream-on:

staypozitive:

• Don’t tell her, show her.
• Don’t keep her waiting, hit her up first once in a while.
• Don’t assume things by the looks of it, hear her out.
• Don’t make her feel unworthy, keep your ex relationships to yourself.
• Don’t blame her for questioning, be patient and reassure her.
• Don’t raise your voice at her, she’s already at her weakest point when you guys argue.
• Don’t beg for her back, when she finds someone else who treats her better than you can.

 Dear boys, read this.

Obviously I broke a couple of those rules………ugg regrets, so many regrets.

So I am not going to lie, sometimes it hurts. Wow, I almost ran into her today and as stupid as it sounds, I wanted to hug her. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying that. I have been working on getting over it the last month, and I have been doing a pretty good job. I brought back the old me and ousted the jackass that had become me. I don’t even know what came over me. I became obsessed with one girl. Looking back on it, I don’t even know who that was. But as I look back on it, I realize all the mistakes I made with her before the big explosion. I thought too much and pushed too much on her. Jesus, i can’t really even believe she stayed with me as long as she did. 

But that’s all in the past. Yes, I did make mistakes, but I fixed most of them, and I am happy I’m not hurting anybody anymore. She told me that I had changed and I changed. I have my old friends back and I am actually happy. And when I see her, I am glad that she is happy. It feels good not to hate. 

I just have to focus. Sometimes it gets really hard to, ESPECIALLY when she looks at me. Oh boy, I just want to burst out and yell and fight to get her back. But, unfortunately, I burned that bridge down, never to be built again. 

Anyway, I am happy and I’m happy I have my life back, instead of being a complete asshole to everyone I saw, all over one girl. There will be others that end badly, but at least I can learn from this what not to say and how to act like a man through all of it. 

Well now that I have said all I need to say, I say good bye and thank you much for reading! Maybe my readers can learn from me as well! haha anyway, bye. CG

I know I said I wouldn’t post anything about you and things anymore, and I haven’t for a long time. I am not posting anything depressing, nor am I mad. This is just a thought, I guess. As I was walking around yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking about our date we were supposed to have. I was going to take you to see the vow. I had a dream the other night about us and we were on a date. It was one of those cheesy romantic dates, but I guess I was remembering the “perfect date” you told me you wanted some day. Walking through a moonlit park, my arm wrapped around you, just talking. 

We used to have the best conversations. That’s what I miss the most. You were really the only person I could talk to and really get a response. I felt comfortable, I felt like myself. 

Well anyway, before I get too depressed again, I am happy for you. I really hope you have a good life. I wish it could’ve been with me, but that’s not how life works, I guess. Well anyway, Goodnight Tumblr, and Happy Birthday to your dad. :)